har har har. im officially a myspace whore. im addicted, what can i say?
not much has been going on.. just enjoying my summer =] umm. Yea. I don't know what else to write in this thing .. i just figured i should write in here because it has been to long.
i leave next sunday for a weeeeeeek with gabriel and his family. im going to the happiest place on earth! hehe. it should be fun, plus the babee is gonna be there too. that cute cheeky girl.
okay... enough of this. take care kids!

So.. I graduated. Si, senor. Sorry Jess, I barely saw yesterday that you left me a comment on my last entry. I never have time for this anymore.

Things are okay. Just okay. A lot has been on my mind lately... and there's a certain decision I have yet to make. A kind of big one, considering how the answer would symbolize something bigger. I dont really know what to do right now. Memories, and not so good ones, have been eating away at me lately.

Ahh the heck with it. So here goes... not too long ago I was put into a not so nice position that left me hurt. The sad part is... I miss it. No not in that twisted way.. or maybe it is. It's just... at least durring that time... I had all the  energy to yell and shout and hate everything going on. I had the rite to do all this, and I did not feel like I had to apoligize. Because yes, it hurt like hell and I hated every agonizing minute of it... But at least that way I was able to bring it up without being lectured of talking about it too much. Or being forced to forgive and forget so soon. I hate having to pretend. Because I dont want to forget... because I haven't forgotten....
I know this is all too confusing to understand... a lot is on my mind right about now... too much. What makes me feel like crying even more..... Is that I miss someone. Someone that I need a lot right now, but the sad part is... I don't know who that someone is.

Hey kids. Long time no write... A lot has been happening. Soon i'll be leaving Stockton behind. In exactly one week I will be graduating. Im sad about that... I don't want to leave Saint Mary's behind. I don't think that I'm ready. I want just one more year ya know?

I don't know I just think that I've come to realize that I regreted my high school life. It wasn't the way I wanted it to be at all. And Im scared that Im going to become one of those mothers that just wants to be young again lol. I wish there was a time machine.. I know I still have college to make it all up, but it's not the same at all.... I don't know what Im going to do. I just wish I could have done certain things that I didn't...and not made friends with people that were bad.

I will be going to disneyland june 2nd. I won't be going to Hawaii though... i know i know. But hopefully Mexico. LoL. When I was looking through our yearbook, I realized that I should have went to Europe last summer. It seemed like sOoOo much fun! See... another regret. You know i take back the begining.. I wish I had a time machine to do everything over differently.. but with MONEY! Honestly.. that's what gets you in the best places/things... But Back to the subject.. so no Hawaii this summer.... but I do want to go to mexico city. My mom is also planning a week trip for us in L.A cuz she's thinking about moving out there. And then... when I leave for San Jose, she's gonna stay out there a week as well so she can compare the two cities and see which one she wants to live in. Yes folks, she's thinking about moving with me. I don't care though.. I mean im gonna be living in the dorms still... but it would make it a whole lot easier if she was there.... I mean that way I would still be able to see her everyday (and my puppy) that way I wouldn't feel guilt leaving on the weekends to come to stockton to visit my dad and gabriel. And then Fresno to visit my sister.  mayn.. thats a lot of miles on my car..... lol

Im gonna miss highschool. It was fun while it lasted. I wish it could last longer....
Place to be Saturday May 28 : Alex Spanos Center @ UOP. The ceremony begins at 9:00 am sharp. Im having a party that day but not until after 4 o'clock. So that way I can make my way to the earlier parties that everyone else has lol. Joy!

Prom was great... I had fun. ANd I loved my dress. I got my pictures from that finally lol. Yuppp.
By the way... Im broke lol. Anyone want to give me money? Or how about a winning lotto ticket? I want these shoes.... and this black dress... and my hair..and my nails lol. Im a girly girl.

I think I have made this long enough. So i'll come back either durring the week... but probably after graduation. Ill come here to cry and weep about how im getting older lmao. I luv you guys!
I wish everyone in the class of 2005 the best luck.

HoLa people! I haven't written in here in a while... I dont know.. busy..or maybe just plain lazy. Umm Not much has been happening, I've just been working, going to school, going to delta, and yea. I went to SJSU last weekend for my EMT, so now everything is all taken care of minus my SAT scores being sent and my deposit fee.

Things are good with my family. The boys are funny, the only word Anthony can clearly say is "wow" he loves cars tho, but when he sees them, instead of saying "carro" he says caca lol. But he's trying...

School is good. Umm nothing new there. No drama at least lol. There hasn't been any for quite a while now. Makes my life easier lol. People will stay in their certain ways, and thats fine, but karma exists, and what goes around comes around.

Umm, I love gabriel. Lol yea things are still good there..so i love him.

Theres not much left to write, and im feeling lazy about it right now, so im just gonna go and do some hw. Talk to you later kids.

HoLa! Remember me? No I didn't dissapear, and I sure didn't go to myspace. Geeze, everyone is doing that now. That's how it started with Xanga too. Just a whole bunch of followers. But Im staying right here, seeing as how I don't even have time to write in here. LoL. This is why..

So mon-fri I have to go to school. Yup, my edumacation. Then after school Im at my dad's house, so I spend time with the little ones. Get to my moms around 530/600 ish and eat, take a shower, do hw, and watch some TV before I go to bed. All while talking with my momma. Mon/Wed I go to Delta for my jazz aerobics classes, 530-630. Then whatever random days my boss chooses, I go to work. So you see, its a lovely little schedule that leaves me no time for anything else. Sad? yes. Depriving? nah. What am I deprived from? lol I don't miss anything. Plus, I got Vanessa and Meghan to crack me up lol. So thats my life.

On top of all that, I am going to San Jose State march 5th for the accepted students thing, or whatever u call it. Get a tour. Then my birthday on March 25th, good friday, we're gonna be leaving Thursday evening to L.A. and coming back Sunday I believe. Fun Fun Fun =] I believe thats all.

So yea I had a terrible night, followed by an okay morning, followed by a crappy afternoon with an argument on the side, and here I am. In pain, But still nerdy. Oh well, life goes on. I was reading some girls xanga, and she pasted a convo with her and her bf, I guess they can't be together so they were talking about that and how she told him that she tried to kill herself like three days ago. Isn't that sad? Like you love someone so much that without them you feel like nothing? Grr, I kinda feel that way. Like without the outer and inner people in my life, its meaningless. And thats just... sad. I don't want my life that way. I don't want to feel like Im of no importance or that I dont contribute anything to it. So I've come to the conclusion that I need to start helping others more then myself. And that the people in my life that share my time, are going to have to accept sharing it with more people. Because Im not at all satisfied with how things are. Enough of this, take care kids, and be careful! xOxO